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Ivan Kage.
Ivan Kage, three time Immortal Wrestling World Heavyweight Champion, and destructor of Anthony Kutler, "The Franchise" Tommy Stylz, Ike Noble, Ben Riley, Don Shank, Mess Man, Shawn Ryder, and more- retired as eW's greatest ever in early 2007. Ivan Kage was created by Kevin Scampoli. He stole his nickname "The Modern Day Icon" from a mid-carder named Omen, then pwned. Here is a sample of an Ivan Kage roleplay: "Ivan Kage." I take a six year step to the left, and when I return everything is exactly the same. The Fifth Horseman is being held two championships below his proper credit, "The Brash" is handed yet another world title, and Anthony Withers is fresh off a loss to some self-contradicting hack. The only thing that's different about the now-times is the fact that Tommy Stylz actually had a match called fairly and unbiasly, right down the middle. Of course, it led to his retirement. If only a few of these other... how you say... "legends" could be treated with the same reality check, we just may be able to filter out a few more of these blockheads. We may even be able to crown a worthy world champion- not just a name that writes well on a contract. Yes, Anthony Kutler. We all get it, Ant- you're still the nonchalant professional. The "Brash" guy who makes it all happen effortlessly, hanging out in that lounge cutting promos next to the big television. Yet, just like that that television... you're dated. A fifty-two inch projection just isn't going to cut it six years later, Kut. I understand that your two hundred dollar service plan still covers the next three decades... but it's time for an upgrade. It's about time we move-on, progress, from the carbon-copy cuss-men who drop the eff-bomb because they "don't care" MAN. That tired act is fucking over. Uhh... "Quite Wee-tawd-ed" if you ask me. What an unfunny phoney. Eh, I'm getting a bit ahead of myself, and for that I apologize. You see, I'm not speaking from the script of one of my old monologues, so I may come off a bit... TrU. Let's start over and begin with the flamboyantly generic, ambiguously mediocre Stefan Waters. You see, Stef, when an opportunity to jump right into the world title hunt presented itself, I saw no problem in letting 5HM take care of you for me. What good would a rematch with Stefan Waters do for me, anyhow? Revenge? Do I honestly need that? I don't think there is one critic in iW who is wondering, between you and I, who the superior athlete is. In a matter of weeks I will cause the destruction of your better half, anyway. This is honestly the best scenario for both of us. I can brush off your fluke victory of years ago by destroying the superior clone of Stefan Waters- again, mind you- for Immortal Wrestling's World Heavyweight Title, again. Meanwhile, you can continue your reign as a Brash impressionist trapped atop the ranks of a bottom-feeding division, holding that phoney "championship" that you basically created. Enjoy it, Stef (-!) you earned it. Kevin Scampoli is the biggest bitch that has ever existed in eW. His character was a mediocre blend of bad references to Elvis Costello and faggotry. He still hates JSV (James "Saint" Vyolence) Category:Characters